Part 1 – Your Online Dating Profile Is Your Trademark

You need a pretty tough skin to survive in the world of online dating. It’s like a great big competition with an infinite number of contestants all competing for the same prize. Looking your best online is crucial to successfully finding the right guy for you.  I’m starting the first segment of my six-part series, “Survival Strategies for Online Dating” by tackling the challenge of writing an eye catching profile with a great photo.

First Impressions Count
I’m a copywriter with a major in marketing so I know a little about writing ads and reaching your target market. You are the product and you’re trying to promote yourself. You may not like the idea of being referred to as a product, but in this forum, you are it.   But finding the right words isn’t always easy.  So when you write your profile:

Be creative.  “Long walks on the beach” are great if you actually take them. Talk about what you like to do and what’s important to you in a relationship. Remember it’s not a grocery list.  And the guys won’t have time to read, “War and Peace” so keep it brief, simple and to the point. Think about who’s reading your profile. If you wouldn’t read it, they won’t either.

Ask a question in your headline.  Stand out.  You could include a question reflecting something in your profile.  Your headline is the first thing they’re going to read.  You either catch their attention or you don’t.  And if it’s not engaging, they’ll move on.  Quickly.  Headlines do sell.  Next time you’re out, take a look at the headlines in the newspapers at the newsstand.

Use proper punctuation, grammar and correct spelling. Nothing would drive me crazier than reading a guy’s profile that didn’t use periods and never capitalized a word! Must have been a lot of keyboards with broken shift keys out there.  Take pride in your profile.  It shows that you take pride in yourself and that you’re serious about meeting someone.

Be honest and polite.  Never lie!  It’ll haunt you forever if you do.  I had a guy who said he was 5’8”.  When I met him, he wasn’t.  He’d lied about his height.  And his credibility was ruined with me.  Don’t be ashamed of who you are or what you look like and feel you have to lie.  You’ll be fooling yourself if you think he will like you soooo much that he’ll forget all about the fact that you lied to him before you even met him!  Believe me it won’t happen.

Be engaging but not flirty.  You are who you hang with and some men may misunderstand your innocent flirting as a come on.  You might attract men that you don’t want or that are not serious about a relationship.  The same applies to clothing in your photo.  You wouldn’t wear a bathing suit or an evening gown on a blind date.  So stay true to yourself and post a picture that reflects who you are.

Always, always, always be positive!  Your profile is not a confessional, a place to complain about your ex, put men down, cry menopause or PMS, or take out your frustrations on others.  Run for the hills if you read a guy’s profile that puts women down or even mentions his ex.  And the same rule applies to you.

Choose a recent photo.  You’re not fooling anyone by posting an outdated picture of yourself.  And most guys don’t like glamour shots.  I posted a couple and guys would say, “That’s a great picture but do you have any real ones?”  Cutting someone out of the photo looks tacky too!  I skipped guys with photos where it was obvious they’d cut a woman out that they were gripping by the waist and then said, “Oh that was my sister.”  It may have been but I preferred men who were alone in their pics or doing some kind of activity that might have included other people.

You Are Your Best Advertisement
Think of your profile and photo as your trademark.  Focus on your headline.  You can always go back and change your profile if you find you’re not attracting the guys you want.  But first impressions can be lasting impressions.  So make your online dating profile unforgettable.

What’s worked for you and what hasn’t?  Feel free to leave your comments. 

Coming this Friday (Oct. 16) Part 2:  Kathryn’s Guide to Online Dating Etiquette.