Part 2 — The Unwritten Rules: Online Dating Etiquette

According to Webster’s Online Dictionary, etiquette is defined as, “rules governing socially acceptable behaviour.”  I don’t consider myself the Emily Post of online dating but I found a degree of finesse certainly went a long way when I was trying to meet someone online.  Etiquette doesn’t dissolve because you’re online.  My father used to tell me, “You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.”  Well Queen Bees, get ready to buzz!

Be Considerate
You’ve written an enticing and engaging profile by following Part 1 of this series and now men are responding to you.  Treating someone the way you’d like to be treated goes a long way. I think when we get behind our computer screens we forget that we’re corresponding with a real person and not some newspaper ad. We’re a little trigger-happy sometimes when we’re ready to hit that delete key. To survive in online dating you need to set a standard for yourself and stick with it.

Wink Back If You’re Interested
It’s really flattering receiving smiles and winks. Reciprocate with a wink only if you’re interested. And if you initiated the wink, don’t take it too personally if he doesn’t wink back. I found this hard at the beginning. I had to remind myself that I was there to meet someone who wanted to meet me and not to waste my energy worrying about someone who didn’t.

It’s Ok to Say No
Some guys just don’t seem to take no for an answer. If you’ve told him politely that you’re not interested and he continues to pursue you, it’s ok to block him. Blocking someone prevents them from contacting you. And if you believe this person is a scammer or could be dangerous for whatever reason, report him to the administrator of the site. Chances are you aren’t the only one he’s bothered.

The Houdini Syndrome
Missing without a trace. I went through a period where it seemed like I was getting along really well with a guy, we’d be chatting or emailing and just when we’d get to setting up a time to meet, he’d disappear. Poof! Vanished. Or we’d chat on the phone, have a great conversation and then he would never call again or return my call. I got so frustrated that I put in my profile, “Houdinis, please do not respond.” Not the smartest thing to write in a profile but I’d had it by that point. Definitely a red flag because these guys could have been married or just in it for the attention. Going AWOL is a power trip and isn’t fair to the other person.

It’s Not Cool to Misrepresent Yourself
Married men (and women) don’t belong on singles dating sites. Period. In fact, if you’re in a committed relationship you’re not doing yourself or anyone else any favours by trying to be someone you’re not.

Follow the unwritten rules and you’re one step closer to meeting the man for you!

Coming Monday (Oct. 19) Part 3: Run! How to Spot Insincere Men Online.