Insincere guys are toxic!

Remember the song by The Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”  Certain situations when you’re dating online absolutely dictate that without hesitation, you should go.  In Part 2 of this series, you set yourself a standard of conduct for your online dating and you’re sticking with it.  You’ve met some really amazing guys but just haven’t connected with the right guy yet. 

Sadly, I learned very quickly that not everyone online is sincere about finding true love on the internet.  Remember these red flags and you’ll meet Mr. Right and avoid Mr. Hazardous-to-Your-Health!

He can’t stop talking about his past relationships.  You want a guy to focus on you and not be talking about his ex all the time.  Sometimes I felt like I was out with the ex-girlfriend or ex-wife because I’d heard so much about her!  This is especially true if a guy is just out of a long-term relationship.  These are probably great guys – but they’re guys who haven’t quite come to terms with their past relationships and the timing just isn’t right for you two to get involved.

You suspect he’s married.  I encountered a couple of married men online and shut them down pretty quick.  These guys are toxic.  Listen to your gut instinct and watch for these signs:  a guy who is never available to see you on weekends or holidays; will only call you late at night or from work; doesn’t have a photo with his profile; doesn’t introduce you to his friends and the details of his life just don’t add up.        

He lies about his age, height or anything else.  Getting hooked up with a guy that lies will only cause you heartache.  If he lies at the beginning of your relationship, he’ll lie until it’s over.  And lying about little things is not ok either.  Little lies turn into big lies – lies that could be very damaging to your emotional health in the long run.  

He behaves badly.  It’s not an indictable offence to break a date but if he breaks the date without calling and stands you up, I’d think twice about starting something with this guy.  I had a guy stand me up and called me the next day.  He said that he couldn’t call me to break the date because he was at another woman’s home staying overnight and didn’t think it would be appropriate to call from her house.  Really?  Who knew.

Stick to your standards.  You deserve the best!

Coming this Friday (Oct. 23) Part 4: Instant Messaging is Permanent Messaging.

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