Part 4 – No Regrets: Remember Instant Messaging Is Permanent Messaging

Think twice before you push that Send button.  Once your message leaves your computer screen it’s out there.  Forever.  Instant messaging is an awesome way to connect with someone you’re interested in.  I used to get all nervous and think, wow, this person is really talking to me right now!  But instant message conversations can be tricky and without a little conscious effort, the results can be disastrous! 

You’ve written a great profile, set your online dating standards and after reading Part 3 of the series, you know who to steer clear of online.  Stay on track with these tips for instant messaging. 

“Hey, that’s not what I meant!”
It’s soooo easy to be misunderstood when you’re having an instant message conversation.  Sounds crazy but proofread what you write before you send it.  Humour doesn’t always work either.  You might be joking and if you’d said it live, your mannerisms and facial expressions would be easy to interpret.  No such luxury online.  The damage is done and trying to back track and explain what you meant presents a huge risk.

Avoid Multiple Conversations
I found it frustrating when I’d be having a conversation with a guy and it took him forever to answer me back.  Few of us type at lightening speed but I knew he wasn’t focused on the conversation with me and was probably talking to other people at the same time.  Huge gaps make the conversation frustrating and you wouldn’t talk like that in person.

Keep Your Messages Short and to the Point
Next time you’re talking to someone, pay attention to how long your answers are to their questions.  Short and sweet worked best for me.  I gave enough information to answer his questions but a little mystery can go a long way too.  You’re answering a question not writing a novel.

Never Argue In An Instant Messaging Conversation
Arguments are explosive!  Keep your cool because every message you send can become a permanent record on his computer.  He can save your conversation, read it over and over again and even print it out!  What you say can and will be used against you.  Politely steer the conversation in another direction or end it and talk some other time.  This is one situation where you need to stay focused and remember your online dating standards.

A Date Is A Date
If you make arrangements to talk to him online at a certain date and time, be there.  I’d anticipate having a great conversation with a guy and I’d no sooner find myself checking back and forth to see if he was online when we’d arranged a time to talk.  Or he’d be online but not answer my message.  Take instant messaging seriously.  It’s another way of getting to know the right guy for you!

Coming this Tuesday (Oct. 27) Part 5: Don’t Make Your First Date Your Last.