Part 5 – Don’t Make Your First Date Your Last

You’ve made it!  Your online dating strategy is working and you’ve set up a first date with an awesome guy (maybe after reading Part 4 of the series you arranged your date through instant messaging).  At your first meeting, you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your chances of going on a second date.  But, I quickly learned that throwing caution to the wind and leaving myself vulnerable to heartache wasn’t very smart.  The majority of the men I dated were absolute gentlemen, but one mistake can affect the rest of your life.

Meet In a Public Place
NEVER go to the guy’s place or invite him to your house for your first meeting!  Bottom line is you don’t know him.  Trust me, I’m not being paranoid here.  He can tell you that his kids will be there or he lives with his grandmother, whatever.  One woman told me she’d been invited back to a guy’s house for lunch after they’d been at church.  She met him at his house and the guy came to the door in a housecoat and later exposed himself…and his kids were at home!!!  She was lucky.  She got away.

Tell Someone Where You’re Going
I always had a buddy system.  I lived at home with my family so my mom used to peek out the living room drapes and write down the guy’s license plate number!  Maybe she went a little above and beyond but hey I was glad someone knew where I was.  If you can’t let someone know your plans, at least leave the guy’s name, phone number and where you’ve gone beside your phone at home or tacked on your frig door.  Pilots file flight plans.  Consider yourself a pilot.

Take Your Own Car
And if you don’t have a car, take a cab.  After all of the Oprah Winfrey shows I’ve watched, I cannot believe I got into the cars of some of my dates.  I literally had to escape one guy’s car at a stoplight after he grabbed my hand and placed it, “in his lap.”  Trust your gut instinct.  If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.

No Alcohol
A glass or two of wine would have tremendously eased my anxiety but also clouded my head.  You need to keep your wits about you and get to know a little about who this guy is.  It’s all about first impressions and believe me, you’ll leave one if you stagger to the ladies room.

Best Advice:  DON’T Sleep With Him On the First Date
Big mistake.  First of all, you want to stay in a public place and you won’t be if you decide to go somewhere secluded.  Secondly, you don’t even know this man so why would you sleep with him.  And finally, chances are he won’t call you again.  I’m not so sure that men are as liberal minded these days as we women might think.  I’m no puritan but if it’s meant to be, he’ll wait.

Be safe.  Remember your online dating standards!

Coming this Thursday, (Oct. 29) Part 6: How I Found True Love Online.