Just What I’ve Always Wanted

It’s that time of year again when you have to attend your spouse’s proverbial work Christmas party.  I’d rather have needles stuck in my eyes.  But someone at my husband’s office was on the ball this year.  She suggested a gift exchange – with a twist. 

Each person had to make a gift or bring something “tacky” that you already owned.  On the night of the dinner, everyone had to pick a gift from the centre table and unwrap it but the next person could steal your gift instead of selecting a wrapped gift from the table.

Herb Tarlek , you would have been proud!  I have never seen a more diversified collection of resurrected relics in my life.  I thought I’d stepped into a K-Tel wasteland.  Where have they been hiding all of this stuff?  Here are a few of the more memorable gifts exchanged that night:

1. The Slap Chop as featured on those late night infomercials along with concoctions that melt away cellulite and psychic readers with big hair.  I’ve never seen so many men fascinated by a simple kitchen appliance!  Sorry ladies, no Rachel Ray food processors for Christmas this year.  The Slap Chop’s making a comeback!
2. The Santa Garden Knome.  Poor Santa!  I’ve never seen him looking so grotesque!  No sleigh for Santa…he’s sitting on a big old red tractor!  Even the squirrels would think twice about hiding their winter stash under this scary Santa.
3. And my very favourite – the gift my dear hubby chose – the plastic portable clothesline.  Looked like a twisted pink umbilical cord!  And still in the original box made in Brooklyn, New York.  If anything belongs in a museum it’s this!

So have fun at your spouse’s Christmas party this year and remember good things don’t always come in small packages!