Welcome to my summer vacation!  Notice the warm ocean breeze blowing through the palm trees and the sound of the waves lapping at the shore, the warm sunshine caressing my skin.  Can’t see it?  NEITHER CAN I!  My sandy beach is the new carpeting I’m lying on that my husband wanted put throughout our upstairs bedrooms.

Sandy carpet aside, making buying decisions with your spouse can be “challenging.“  We almost divorced over the Jacuzzi tub hubbie wanted for the guest bathroom we renovated two years ago.  What’s wrong with a tub from The Home Depot?  Well that’s not a specialty bathroom store. 

Make a Plan
Well the specialty bank account has run dry!  How can we make spending decisions with our partners without one of us feeling like a casualty?  Financial guru Suze Orman suggests in her article, “Financial Couples Therapy“ in the November 2009 issue of O Magazine, that you need to make a plan together.  “A recent PayPal survey found that money is the number one cause of arguments among American couples…” says Orman.  Is there a closed circuit camera in my house?

Making More Money ≠ More Power
Orman goes on to say that it doesn’t matter who makes more money – both spouses have equal say in what happens with the family finances.  “You need to understand the family finances and weigh in on all decisions,” says Orman.  I have to work on this one.

The Art of Respectful Negotiation
It’s taken us a very long time to grasp this concept.  But we’ve come to the realization that marriage is give and take.  Carpet this year, vacation next year. And the spouse that can shout the loudest is not always right.  We now have a code word to say if we find ourselves slipping into muddy waters — “will not” — usually makes us laugh so the argument ends anyway!   We have to come back and revisit the issue when both of us are in a more “negotiable” mood.

How do you and your spouse make spending decisions?  All guidance and words of wisdom welcome.

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